Technical Difficulties

Apparently computers age faster than dogs, consequently my five year old Mac computer fell victim to old age and had to be rejuvenated at the Mac store on 14th St., it was touch and go for a while but after more procedures than Heidi Montag, it is up and running once again.January of this New Year has been frustrating at best, my AT&T cell phone spazzed out on me in some sort of sympathetic suicide pact with the computer, then every light bulb in my apartment burned out, not in threes as is usually the case, but every single lightbulb in my apartment. I wondered if this was an omen as I screwed in all the new energy efficient lightbulbs but have decided to screw that thought, it is just the natural order of things. I shall remain optimistic and put this all behind me, I need only think of Haiti or any other unfathomable tragedy occurring in this world to count my blessings.

There are No Small Parts, Only Small Actors

My dear departed father was a six foot Irishman but I inherited the genes of me mum, a wee Scottish lass, so it came as no surprise when I did not grow as tall as the other boys in Jr. High. I can still sometimes fit into clothes from the Boy's Department at Brooks Brothers which are half the price of their menswear.
While schlepping my illustration portfolio on Fifth Ave. many, MANY years ago, I was approached by an obviously affluent and fashionable man who asked if I had ever done any modeling or runway work. I replied "no" and was about to dismiss this fool and his cheesy pick up line until he produced his card, he was indeed a fashion designer I had heard of. For reasons still unclear to me he was introducing a line of menswear for the height challenged. I listened as he rambled on until he asked me if I knew of others like me, insulted yet composed, I told him I knew many, that we all lived in a hollowed out tree in Central Park and that I would definitely have them call him as soon as all the Keebler cookies had been baked.
That same year I was approached by my friend and experimental filmmaker Alex Hahn to play an alien, as he did not require me to doll up as a little green Martian I accepted. Alex did however put me in a mylar jumpsuit for the part and in later roles put pantyhose over my head but somehow this was not mortifying, it was oompa loompa art.
Swiss born Alexander Hahn studied at The Whitney Museum and his works have been screened world wide as well as at MoMA.
I hope these images and links to Alex's short, brilliant, mind numbing films will finally convince my horrified mother that I was never a struggling porn star, they were merely "art" films.
Color stills from Secret Sanctions, B/W from State of Being. Click on the film titles to view.